Porky's Hole Thoughts: At a Loss for Words?
This
month, I just couldn’t come up with a good story. Some people call it writer’s
block. I love writing, but sometimes it’s hard to come up with an interesting
story for “Porky’s Hole Thoughts.”
At 72 or 73 (I’m not sure), my memory is pretty good, but my sorting ability sometimes is a problem. I know what I’m trying to think of (such as a name or a place), but my short-term memory just won’t recall that specific name or place, so I just have to forget it for a while – and later, it’s right there! My son Piglet says I just have a sorting problem. It’s like finding a file in your file cabinet. You know it’s there, but you just can’t find it. I think my head is just so full – I need to forget some things, so I’ll have room to remember more! Bess confirms that I’m just full of it – I don’t know what she means. I think my mind is like the computer – I just need to defrag my mind occasionally.
Men remember the important things, like baseball, basketball and football scores, fishing, golf, well drilling and the best-looking women.
Women, in turn, remember the unimportant things, like wedding anniversaries, birthdays, Mother’s Day, the best place to buy clothes, when to pay the bills, when the trash must be carried out and what we men forgot! Women are like elephants – they never forget anything!
Shortly after we were married, I gave Bess a nice birthday gift – but it wasn’t her birthday. It was my old girlfriend’s birthday, and Bess’ best friend’s birthday. Needless to say, Bess received two birthday gifts that year!
Some 52 years ago, I went with a cousin to look at a drilling rig, and didn’t return home until about 2:00 a.m. When I returned the house was all decorated up, the best dinnerware and silverware were on the table with candles. Bess was in bed, asleep. I had forgotten my first wedding anniversary. That’s a real blunder, and I knew I was in big trouble. However, believing that I am a great salesperson, I was able talk myself out of the doghouse easily – in less than a week (it may have been two weeks). Needless to say, I have never forgotten our wedding anniversary or her birthday since. As I said, women never forget!
Before this article prints, Bess and I will have returned from a trip home to Oklahoma, having visited friends and relatives, and attended a school alumni function. As usual, everyone loves to pick on Porky. We talk about things we did and learned in school. Sometimes I will comment that I don’t remember learning that in school. They say, “Porky, you probably didn’t go to school that day; in fact, you seldom went to school!” They all know that I was best at playing hooky and that my favorite period was recess. Most remembered is my being made to stand in the corner (behind the piano) for misbehaving or disrupting the class. I would climb out the window when the teacher wasn’t watching and go fishing.
Our 53rd wedding anniversary comes up in September, and I pray that I remember it! ND
At 72 or 73 (I’m not sure), my memory is pretty good, but my sorting ability sometimes is a problem. I know what I’m trying to think of (such as a name or a place), but my short-term memory just won’t recall that specific name or place, so I just have to forget it for a while – and later, it’s right there! My son Piglet says I just have a sorting problem. It’s like finding a file in your file cabinet. You know it’s there, but you just can’t find it. I think my head is just so full – I need to forget some things, so I’ll have room to remember more! Bess confirms that I’m just full of it – I don’t know what she means. I think my mind is like the computer – I just need to defrag my mind occasionally.
Men remember the important things, like baseball, basketball and football scores, fishing, golf, well drilling and the best-looking women.
Women, in turn, remember the unimportant things, like wedding anniversaries, birthdays, Mother’s Day, the best place to buy clothes, when to pay the bills, when the trash must be carried out and what we men forgot! Women are like elephants – they never forget anything!
Shortly after we were married, I gave Bess a nice birthday gift – but it wasn’t her birthday. It was my old girlfriend’s birthday, and Bess’ best friend’s birthday. Needless to say, Bess received two birthday gifts that year!
Some 52 years ago, I went with a cousin to look at a drilling rig, and didn’t return home until about 2:00 a.m. When I returned the house was all decorated up, the best dinnerware and silverware were on the table with candles. Bess was in bed, asleep. I had forgotten my first wedding anniversary. That’s a real blunder, and I knew I was in big trouble. However, believing that I am a great salesperson, I was able talk myself out of the doghouse easily – in less than a week (it may have been two weeks). Needless to say, I have never forgotten our wedding anniversary or her birthday since. As I said, women never forget!
Before this article prints, Bess and I will have returned from a trip home to Oklahoma, having visited friends and relatives, and attended a school alumni function. As usual, everyone loves to pick on Porky. We talk about things we did and learned in school. Sometimes I will comment that I don’t remember learning that in school. They say, “Porky, you probably didn’t go to school that day; in fact, you seldom went to school!” They all know that I was best at playing hooky and that my favorite period was recess. Most remembered is my being made to stand in the corner (behind the piano) for misbehaving or disrupting the class. I would climb out the window when the teacher wasn’t watching and go fishing.
Our 53rd wedding anniversary comes up in September, and I pray that I remember it! ND
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