When you’re right-handed, and your right hand is in a cast, it’s impossible to do almost everything. Try it: Wrap up your right hand and wrist, and see how you’re limited in what you can do with it.
Around Father’s Day, I fractured my wrist. I don’t know why it fractured; I
just fell on it.
I didn’t know it was fractured until two weeks later when it didn’t seem to be
getting any better. Bess kept saying that I should have it x-rayed, so to
satisfy her, I went to my doctor. He x-rayed it, and yep, it was
I drove to the doctor’s office OK, but going home with a cast on my hand was a
different matter. First, my car keys were in my right pocket, and with the
added cast, I couldn’t reach in my pocket for the keys. After finally fumbling
for my keys, I got in the car. Where’s the ignition? On the right side of the
steering wheel, of course. Contorting myself around, I finally was able to get
my keys in the car and get it started. Now how do I squeeze the shifter handle
into reverse? Again contorting myself, I was able to shift gears, thanks for
automatic transmissions. I finally got myself home, out of the car and to the
After fumbling to get my keys in the front door, I finally and reluctantly
pushed the door bell, knowing what was coming next. The door opened with an “I
told you so!” – the exact four words a man hates to hear. After 54 years
married to Bess, I’m used to hearing that.
Ever see a right-handed person try to eat with his left hand? It’s not funny to
him, but it’s hilarious to others. A right-handed person can’t even run a
computer – the mouse is on the wrong side. Simple, just move the mouse to the
left side, right? Wrong; that left hand is so dumb, it moves the mouse
backwards. OK, so now I’ll learn to use the computer touch pad. I hate touch
pads. Back to learning to run the mouse with the left hand.
After two weeks of cheating by removing the cast to use the computer and do
other unmentionable things, I went back to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor
says that I haven’t been wearing my cast. He puts on a new cast, and says to
leave it on and only remove it to take showers and come back in four
Now I can understand how people with only one hand feel.
I hate wearing this cast, so I guess I’ll have to wear it to get rid of it.
Besides, the cast police (Bess) will be watching.
By the time you read this, I’ll have been to the SAWDJ – with my cast on. But
if I shook your hand, you can bet it was with the left hand.
Porky's Hole Thoughts: Fractured Wrist
September 1, 2010