Wayne Nash offers some of his experiences with trade shows and site investigations as well as his views on politics.

I just got back from the NGWA convention in Orlando - had a great time. Trade shows always recharge my batteries. I get the chance to swap lies with my friends, look at new products and either give or receive continuing education points. I try to hit a few trade shows every year; I never fail to get something good out of them. I saw one of my friends in the business before I left and asked him if he was going to go. He said, “Naw, I can't afford it.” It occurred to me that he couldn't afford NOT to go!

Under the title of “Law of Unintended Consequences,” I noticed a funny thing about continuing education. There now are a number of states that require continuing education points for licensing. There also are a number of drillers that don't think continuing education seminars are a good idea. Guess what - the drillers most in need of continuing education are the same ones that whine loudest about being forced to attend!

Years ago, it was the same thing with the draft: The young people most in need of a little discipline, and with the most to gain, were the least likely to volunteer. Continuing ed. is a great idea whose time has come. I encourage everyone to take advantage of the opportunities to learn a little something - unless of course, you're one of those drillers who's “got it all knowed-up,” in which case, come over here and teach me something!

I wasn't too sure how well the show was going to go, considering what happened to me on the drive down to Orlando. I GOT LOCKED UP!

Got your attention didn't I? Yep, it happened to quiet, mild-mannered, unassuming little ol' me. 'Course y'all know there's more to the story than that. What happened was one of my friends had moved a rig to a location 'bout halfway down there, and I decided to stop and see how they were doing. It was about a 5-mile lease road through a game preserve to the rig. When I got there, the first gate was open, so I went on in. When I got down to the rig, nobody was there, so I turned around and headed back out. When I got to the head gate, it was locked! I was trapped!

Cell phones are a wonderful invention. I made a few calls and got someone on the way to “spring” me. While I was waiting, I noticed a couple of new monitor wells with all kinds of new-fangled, solar-powered sensors and stuff, so I walked over there to have a look. Little did I know that I picked up enough ticks to make a hound dog proud!

After a while, a guy showed up in a city truck to open the gate. First thing he asked me was, “Are you in there hunting?” I figured this guy was a couple sandwiches shy of a picnic, since I was wearing my Masters green jacket, a white shirt and tie, and driving a Lincoln! Not exactly L.L.Bean hunting apparel! It occurred to me that if I had been driving a service truck, I wouldn't have had to call him. I would have made a few small, technical “adjustments” to the gate and been on my way. Note to self: Carry torch in Lincoln.

He eventually “sprung” me, and I was on my way. Got to the show, registered and eventually made it to my room where I discovered that ticks were making a buffet out of my body parts. I dug ticks out of places I didn't even know the names of ... .

News flash: I'm writing my column, and Fox News just announced that American forces had captured Saddam Hussein (or as I always call him, Sodamn Insane).

That's a heck of a good thing. They showed a picture of him, and it occurred to me that Saddam looked a lot like Glenn Campbell the night he got that DUI. No wonder they had trouble finding him - he looked like the kind of homeless person the democrats are pandering to for votes! Which reminds me of a question my granddaughter asked me. She watches reruns of Star Trek and is starting to take an interest in politics. She asked me, “Poppa, why aren't there any democrats on the Enterprise?” I told her, “Kyla, it's in the future.”

Since the coming year is an election year here in the States, I figure to throw a few political comments in my column from time to time. Hey, I have an opinion, and I'll share it if you'll listen. Let my editor know if it's all right.

One example: Next June, the G8 Summit is coming to an island 12 miles from my house. I can't let this one pass by. Since I write for an international publication, one with worldwide interests, I figure it would be a good idea for me to get press credentials and maybe ask some world leaders what they would do about various water problems. I'd report this to you, my readers, as I see it, which might be a little different than the way others see it. Let me know. ND